A push in the right direction

My experience is… A woman’s sexual satisfaction is directly related to a woman’s belief that she is desired. Here’s the part that men don’t seem to get, a woman feels sexual, when she is viewed sexually. Here we are, our whole lives exposed to media, and this media tells us again and again, a man is turned on visually. Men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears. Yes, we know. The bikini didn’t develop for swimming aquanomics. We understand the mini skirt is not the most practical item of clothing a woman can wear on a bus. Stilettos just hurt. But here’s what we want you men to get: When we feel sexy, we are sexy.

So how to translate this into real life?  Take my friend of many years, single she was a real little minx. All the guys loved her, and she loved guys. Everything was as it should be. She wore cute little skirts and oozed sex appeal, and men responded. It was cyclical.  It was a ying and yang… The better she felt about herself, the better men liked her, the better she felt.  Then marriage, kids, 20 pounds and a clueless hubby, and now she is about as asexual as a housewife can get. All those late night calls, talking about sexual positions, and peccadillos of her various conquests are gone, now it’s all the kids sports teams, and home improvement. Sex is gone. Sexy has left the building.

People say, “Confidence is beautiful”, which of course we all know is not true. I’ve been in the line at the  DMV and all those chicks with super tight jeans, with a muffin top which could be mistaken for a muffin avalanche, chain smoker with no bra... not the sexy way... the way in which sometimes a woman REALLY needs a bra...  she has confidence, but no… not beautiful. But some guy somewhere obviously still desires her, or she wouldn't have the nerve to appear in public that way.

Golda Meir was plenty confident, but come on.

Ok, so what is this all about? Here’s the deal in a nut shell. One of the biggest things for women is desire. DESIRE. They want to feel desired. This is why they blow a gasket if you point out a beautiful woman on the street – they want to be the women you notice. They feel the gap in your attention, they once lived in that gap. This is why they nitpick every detail of a more attractive woman’s appearance. (Just ask me about Angelina Jolie’s veiny arms! Go on, ask me!! )This is our competitive nature, how we get all out of joint if our hubby divorces us for a 22 year old – before we could find a 22 year old… Rat bastard – that reminds me: call my lawyer... again This explains the so called “rape fantasy”… we don’t want to be raped, we want a guy to be so overcome with desire, he must have us! It’s why we like hard kisses in movies. Men riding 100 miles, bareback, in a mule, in the rain, just to kiss us outside the farmhouse in all that cinematic grandeur.  D-E-S-I-R-E! Those anatomically impossible arched backed women, busoms thrusting, yelding to the handsome lover on the cover of the romantic pulp fiction. Bodice ripping.

Desire.

So now I hand you the keys to your woman’s Chevy: Fake desire. That’s right. We are polite enough to fake it for you, now you can do the same. Fake it until you make it.

But first you must learn the subtle signs. Notice when she’s made an effort, depending how far down the “life without feeling desired” road she’s gone, this might mean she’s washed her hair recently and is wearing a sweatshirt with only three toddler puke stains. Seize the moment and compliment her! Now, use caution, don’t go crazy or she’s going to know it’s fake. Sort of like when we shout, “You’re the biggest I’ve ever even heard of in the animal kingdom!!!” But instead keep it realistic – but not too realistic. Think back to the first time you saw her and thought she was beautiful, and say that in the present tense.

 For example, she was your date for the prom, and wore a pink taffeta floatation device, and you thought, “I can’t believe I am doing that girl… I am so freak’en lucky” .. Say that! “Sometimes baby, when I look at you, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you…” And then just leave that there. Don’t try anything right away. Then, when you introduce her to friends, say, “This is my beautiful wife Joanne…” Maybe you don’t think so, but over time, she will believe it.  It took years to strip her self-esteem, it takes time, but really, you tell 10 lies a way, how hard is it to integrate this into your repertoire?

Try it, and watch: 20lb will melt away, she will be hotter for you then she has been in years, she will walk taller knowing her man desires her, your friends will say, “What’s up with Joanne?”,  she will grow more confident in bed, even get on top, cloths will get tighter and you won’t believe it was all so easy as a few lies a day.

If you build it, she will cum.