I don’t understand you “other women”. I just don’t get it. My father used to speculate that woman don’t give clothes away that don’t fit them anymore because we can’t stand the thought of someone else looking good in them. He surmises this is why, even after a down-and-dirty divorce, women still react with jealousy when their ex reattaches. I can see the point. This summer I was walking down a waterfront dock, summer dresses were everywhere, and then, I saw her. A woman wearing -- quite well I might add -- a flirty silk dress I have the duplicate of in my “maybe someday this will fit again” closet. And I felt a bit of grief over it, but, as for old boyfriends, it has never fazed me that they have moved on… even when, God forbid, they do so before I can manage the same… No one like to loose that race!
That being said, when it comes to ex-girlfriends reinserting their ugly heads into my relationship, then I have a different feeling… more akin to a pain in the ass.
I see it this way: When I was 12 all I wanted was a Banana Bike. For a full year I pestered my parents for it… then one fine “grading day” I got it. Bright green with yellow streamers flowing from white hand grips on the high arched handlebars. Long narrow white seat, in the signature “banana” shape. It was just fantastic. I rode it to death… for a year. Oh, that first year, when you just can’t keep your hands off -- or get enough. I was the queen bee on my Banana bike. But, you know, over time, I grew and it seemed a bit immature. It lacked sophistication. The things about it I once enjoyed, like that infamous seat, now just chaffed me. And it just started to seem more like work then fun to drive. Racing ten speeds were the practical - and desirable -- replacement. And I moved on.
Oh who knows what happened to that bike, I lost touch. It was likely picked up for a few dollars at a yard sale or another. Poor sad little bike. I was on to bigger and better things. It remained the same.
But over the years, I never forgot my first great bicycle love. And for me, this is where it ends. But for some people, these “other woman”… the story doesn’t end there.
You see for them, years pass, bikes come and go…. They flirted with a sportier version, but racing bikes were too uncomfortable. Mountain Bikes, while rugged and handsome, were too tasking. And they think about that first bike, over and over. “What was wrong with it?” They wonder. “Was it my expectations? Did I just want too much?” Sure, they remember, it was childish, and hard to get moving, but as they move through bike after bike, they start to think differently about that old Banana bike they left behind.
Then one day, quite by accident…. Or maybe on Facebook… they see that bike. There it is! It stops them in their tracks. It still looks pretty good, maybe even better, with a hint of age, it looks more grown up… more of a classic then the toy it used to be.
They stop, and they see it there, parked in an alley of a happy home. But wait. It’s dangerously close to a drive way -- don’t they even appreciate what they have there??? It looks neglected! I took better care of that bicycle then that! THEY DON’T DESERVE MY BICYCLE! And they stop, pick it up and with minimal effort and put it in the back of their Subaru Outback and take it home. Sure that bike shouldn’t have gone along, but in the end, it was not HER’S TO TAKE! Owning something once, doesn’t give you the right to come and go in its life forever… does it???
So, sure, you can steal my bike. And sure maybe once it was yours, and you were here first. But it served you once, you had your chance. And worst of all, the person who owns it now loves that bike too… and the pity is, that once you’ve had it again for a few months, and the initial fun of reconnecting to your past memories is over, that banana seat will still be as uncomfortable as it ever was… And now, it’s too late, you can never take it back and I’ve bought a mountain bike. So who loses? The Banana Bike we both loved. That’s who.
Get your own bicycle!
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